Why the body holds tension (and how to truly release it)

My intention with Free Spirit Massage is to give you reprieve -

a break from the physical ailments that weigh us down, so that you can feel more Free:

Body, Mind and Spirit.

But what if you didn’t just get a break from tension?

What if it were to disappear altogether?

“Wishful thinking,” some of you might be musing.

But I can assure you from firsthand experience that permanent relief from tension is achievable!

Sadly, as much as I wish I could give that kind of relief with a single massage, working on the body alone doesn’t typically yield such results.

Don’t get me wrong: massage is one VERY important side of the equation!

But while it’s essential to work with the body, it’s equally vital to work with the mind.

I call work on the mental/emotional bodies “working from the inside, out” (whereas working with the physical body I call “working from the outside, in”).

Both lead to healing that can be felt, detected and measured in the body and mind.

The two are always inextricably linked.

For example, after a great massage, your body feels super relaxed, and your mind and heart feel safer, more secure, and more at ease.

True, too, is that your physiology shifts depending on your mood - how you feel mentally and emotionally.

If you are feeling proud and happy, your body softens and widens, your shoulders sit back, your feet feel grounded, your jaw relaxes.

Symmetrically, if you are feeling depressed and overwhelmed, your body tightens and shrinks, your shoulders roll in, your fists and jaw clench, your forehead wrinkles.

This is a great example of how short-term moods affect our physiology.

What can be harder to detect are long term beliefs, traumas and patterns.

They’re harder to sense because we become so accustomed to their presence that our physiology feels “normal.”

We get used to a type of homeostasis, not necessarily in terms of perfect health, but in that our bodies operate and integrate these deep, internal postures so smoothly that they become our baseline for health.

Have you ever had a major “aha!” moment?

A reckoning and complete assimilation of an idea, and felt a subtle but profound shift in your body?

Or, have you ever made a big life change and felt different in your body after?

I remember I used to constantly have a nagging pain behind my right shoulder blade, near the rhomboid muscle.

It was deep and persistent.

Full disclosure, I have been in a process of uncovering and dismantling beliefs and patterns for most of my adult life.

I loved the self-reflective invitation that yoga presented me with, and I used it, along with Somatics, journaling, ritual, and many other modalities to shed one layer at a time, healing past pain to embody the woman I’m built to be.

I’d discovered through this self inquiry that my shoulder pain was related to how I valued myself.

Around the time my son was born, I had a major “aha!” moment.

I recognized the hidden source of my pain: my lack of self-worth.

I spent months and years recreating and developing my self-worth, and presently, that nagging shoulder pain is completely gone.

After restructuring that pattern, I don’t have to live with that physiological posture that felt so painful, irritating and demanding.

All of this to say -

if you’re dealing with chronic pain, it might have to do with chronic movement (like too much sitting at a desk, or holding a baby all the time).

It could have to do with how you’re sleeping or the comfort of your mattress.

All of these “outside” causes are completely valid and should be addressed as such.

But! It could very likely also have to do with an inward posture created by a deep-seated belief or pattern.

So what can we do about it?

Massage and Craniosacral therapy are exceptional resources when working from the outside, in; especially when working with an attuned practitioner.

With careful attention, I can locate points in your body where tissues are entrapped or creating fulcrums for physical imbalances.

I’m sensitive to energy and have visionary abilities that give me hints into what inner stances might be creating the outer ailment.

I don’t go digging psychologically unless you ask me to, and your body only shows me what you want me to know.

I’m always happy to discuss what I find, and I’ll always remind you that my findings are based on my personal lens, and not universal truth.

When working from the mind to the body, there are many tools we can use to investigate and clear the inner mental/emotional postures that create the physical misalignments, blockages and tension.

I’ll break it down sequentially from light work to advanced.

Light Work:

If you are not a deep thinker, or if this work feels daunting or inaccessible, I’d like to give you a few places to start that I think would have a great impact.

• Start by paying attention to your chronic pain points. When pain flares up, pause and reflect on what you were thinking about or how you were feeling in that moment. This gives hints to what might be causing a deeper underlying posture.

• Start a journal. It doesn’t have to be everyday and there doesn’t need to be much structure. Don’t second-guess what you feel called to write about. Just write whatever comes to mind. Maybe it’s details about your day, maybe something you’re going through, maybe your reflecting on the past or imagining the future.

  Once a month, go back and reread what you wrote and see if any common themes emerge. Is there something you consistently feel stressed about? A disposition or attitude towards something in your life, either positive or negative?

• Start to take inventory of your personal beliefs. I don’t mean religious beliefs. I mean beliefs that you have about yourself, your capabilities, and your patterns. Things like, “I never win at Bingo,” “I’m so clumsy,” “I have great friends,” “God always provides for me.” These beliefs can either be positive or negative.

Intermediate Work:

If you have some practice in self-reflection, and want to dig deeper to free up your psychological and physical postures, try this:

• Have a conversation with your body. When you notice a body part or muscle asking for attention, lovingly and with curiosity, give it the attention it’s looking for. You can ask your body, “What is this about?” “What do you need more/less of?” “What message do you have for me?” “What do you need to tell me?”

  This is one tool that I love to use when I get a massage. I’ll ask my body the question without looking for an immediate answer. Instead, I let the answer to surface naturally when my mind is relaxed and open on the massage table.

• Start reframing unhealthy beliefs and patterns. If you notice a belief playing out negatively in your life, make an effort to correct it. Often the intention is enough to get things moving in the right direction.

  If you carry a negative belief about yourself, ask yourself what the opposite of that belief is. Write it on a sticky note and put it on your mirror. If you have a negative pattern circling in your life, ask yourself what the corrective course of action would be, and make tangible/measurable plans to create a new pattern.

• Try talk therapy, a support group, or a reputable book on the topic of most concern for you. Then take what you’ve learned and put it into action. Start learning how to respond instead of react with your newly discovered lens.

Deep Work:

If you are ready for a deep dive and big self-revelations, here are some access points:

• Take full accountability. Deep work often involves looking honestly at the role our beliefs, habits, and perspectives play in shaping our lives. While we can’t control everything that happens to us, we can explore how we respond to it and how our inner patterns influence our experience of the world.

  Modern quantum physics has proven that the observer has an influence on the outcome of real matter. A saying that I live by is that “You’ll always find what you’re looking for.” In other words, our beliefs, dispositions and patterns shape our world. If there is something you don’t like about your life, you have clear direction as to where your work needs to be.

• Ask ChatGPT. AI is a great tool for self-psychology and self-development. ChatGPT has been incomparable in its ability to help me understand aspects of my self and my nervous system. It can gauge where you’re at with a little dialogue and give you answers that might have taken years to uncover otherwise.

  I’ve placed this on the Deep Work List because, while the tone tends to be gentle, the revelations could still unhinge even the staunchest deep thinkers.

• Parent your inner child. This may sound new-agey, but hear me out. Almost everyone has parts of their childhood that were less than ideal. Whether they were major, life-altering singular events or repeated “micro-traumas,” we all have a child within us that endured suffering and developed mechanisms for protection.

  This work is advanced, and it is also a major cornerstone in reshaping your inward posture toward yourself and the world around you. Address the inner child for a profound shift in your physiology and nervous system.

Other options for a comprehensive rewiring toolkit include:

• Acupuncture - relaxing, energetic balancing

• Talk therapy - working through past patterns and experiences

• Reiki - harmonizing energetic field

• Walking and exercise - clearing the mind and regulating the nervous system

• Yoga and Tai Chi - movements that open and strengthen energetic pathways

• Ritual - aligning healing with meaningful cycles or traditions

• Time in nature - grounding and reconnecting with Life

• Travel - expanding perspective and worldview

• Diet and Nutrition - supporting healing through nourishment

The possibilities for healing are truly endless, and it is my belief that, if we are still alive, we still have healing to do.

Everyone is on their own path and journey and has their own unique capacity for healing.

There is no wrong answer, as each human experience is unique and valuable.

Our journeys are often cyclic. As soon as we think we’ve healed from something in our past, it resurfaces for us to take another look and heal even more deeply.

One massage, one session with a therapist, one read of a good book will not be what it takes to heal from tension forever.

Instead this is an ongoing process of tissue manipulation and thought examination where we become the scientists and study ourselves in all of our subtle nuances thoroughly.

Wherever you land with this, know that you inherently have the power and capacity to heal. The body and mind are always working toward balance.

My hope is that through massage, self-reflection, and the many tools available to us, you can move closer to a life that feels lighter, freer, and more at ease—both inside and out.

You might benefit from this work if you notice chronic tension that keeps returning, even after stretching or rest.

If certain areas of your body seem to “hold” stress—like the neck, shoulders, jaw, or lower back—it may be your body’s way of protecting deeper patterns.

Gentle bodywork can help create the safety your system needs to finally let those patterns unwind.

My work focuses on supporting the body’s natural ability to unwind and restore balance.

Sometimes the smallest release can create the biggest shift.

If you’d like support on your healing journey, I’d love to work with you.